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Find your Becky

Submission from Prowess Pro, Lori Prehar on getting back into the workforce.  You don’t want to scroll past this – she’s a hoot!
Not sure who needed to hear this, but FIND YOUR BECKY:
I hit pause on my career to raise our super-sized family (4 boys and a girl) with every intention of picking things back up professionally when the time felt right.  I have no regrets.  I “Mommed” my way, like Frank Sinatra.  
But then the day came and I rejoined the workforce and seemed to have 2 camps of people in my network when I announced I was back in sales and recruiting:
Let me explain.  One group told me I could conquer Rome while blindfolded.  They said thing like, “They are so lucky to have you”, “Sheeeeee’s BACK!” and “This is SO exciting.  You’re going to kill it.”  But the other group of people I thought were in my corner went radio silent.  Which spoke volumes to me that they thought I must be Koo Koo for Cocoa Puffs to attempt 5 kids, a marriage and a career.
Then, my friend Becky went where no other friend of family member did.  The week of Texas’ “snowpocalypse” I texted her, “I got that job…am I INSANE?  Why did I think this would be a good idea?”  She shot straight with this text message:

Congrats!  Any mom who works is a little insane but on the flip side it also helps us keep our sanity.  Crazy how it’s both.  Here’s some unsolicited advice from a working mom (but I only have 2 kids):

You’re going to want to prove to everyone that you can do both and be great at both.  And I guarantee you will feel like Superwoman some days and other days you will feel like a complete failure.  Believe the Superwoman part and give grace to the part that feels like a failure.  The only way to “do it all” is to give something up that someone else can do.  Find things you’re willing to give up and hire it out (like laundry service or house cleaning or meal delivery or all three).  Maybe you start out with all three while you adjust and add things back as you get to know your schedule and life as a working mom.  At least order groceries online and have them delivered.  My house is never all clean at the same time.  It took me a long time to be ok with that.  Now I might be too comfortable with it.  LOL

My kids are responsible for their own rooms and bathrooms.  I touch them up before guests come, but that’s it.  Give yourself time to adjust, and your kids and hubby time to adjust.  We now pay our daughter to make dinner one or two times a week.  She’s learning skills and will leave our nest prepared to cook many real meals. Our son has also made dinner a couple times!  We’ll let him do more as he matures (he’s a 13 year old tornado in the kitchen, but he enjoys cooking and feels so proud of himself.  This helps us be able to work later.  Cooking 7 nights a week is not realistic.  I could go on and on, but the real takeaway is you can do it!  Give up some stuff because attempting it all will make you insane.
That’s all I personally needed to hear because it’s my experience the truth always lies in the middle.  So, Ladies, keep an eye out for your straight shooter.  Mine is named Becky.  Today I would have felt selfish to keep Becky all to myself, but now I’m encouraging you to go find your Becky so you can get liberal doses of reality when you need them.  This journey will require all sorts of gear.  Becky will prove to be your water bottle – MISSION critical for survival.


To meet more people, just like this, join the Prowess Community for women balancing work and life. 

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